I Can Buy Myself Flowers
How many reels have you seen that have that song playing in it? I bet you can’t even put a number on it. I know I can’t. That song often gets stuck in my head after and I find myself singing it. On a couple of occasions, my husband thought I was trying to give him a hint…. (hint or being passive aggressive?). Anyway, I can absolutely buy myself flowers, but I also love to receive them. When he sends me flowers, or a friend sends a card or a gift that I can use or wear, it reminds me that I am loved. I get what Miley is saying in her song and we do need to love ourselves for sure, but we aren’t meant to do life or grief alone. And even if we aren’t alone in our lives we can feel alone in our grief.
When I look back on the grief of infertility, complicated relationships, divorce, my FGP kids, break-ups, leaving the organization I started and loved, being diagnosed with cancer and sending my first born off to college, I remember different things that soothed my heart during those times. Interestingly, the best balm was people and their words or actions that led to me feeling seen and less alone. Outside of grief filled times, there are items that make me feel loved and help me through hard days. My grief experiences and the people who have loved me through them, are what is leading to the shape of the shop that I am creating for you to find gifts to remind your people they are not alone.
When my husband buys me flowers, every time I see them, I think of him and feel a sense of calm. The flowers are a physical manifestation* of his love. It is a reminder that he thought of me and took the time to order the flowers and craft a meaningful message (are you reading this Scott? If so, my valentine roses are dying…. ♬I can buy myself flowers♬).
I feel the same thing with other times that I have received over time. For example, I start my day with coffee in a mug that one of my special girlfriends bought me from my favorite local potter (Amy Kovats). While I am sitting quietly planning my day, that mug reminds me of how loved I am by her. That simple item and thought starts my day on a positive path because it feels good in the hustle and bustle to remember that I am not alone.
That’s what I am creating at Grief Girlfriend; gifts that are a physical manifestation* of your support for a friend that is hurting(or just living and facing grief). By sending words and gifts of support, my hope is we can create a sense of less loneliness for your people. I am hopeful that the logo will become a symbol for those who receive the beautifully crafted items that they are not alone. So when they look at the mug or the bracelet you send from Grief Girlfriend, they will remember that they are not alone.
You are not alone. You don’t have to be strong. You can be in the and.
*While sitting having brunch at a restaurant in West Virginia last weekend, I started talking to a woman sitting next to me (I am so sorry, Ginger that you never got to read your book.) When she asked what I do and I tried to explain Grief Girlfriend, she said so the items will be physically manifestation of people’s support. And I said YES! And asked if she wanted to help with my business but she declined. HA!