Books, Books & More Books
March is National Reading Month which is my kind of month. Reading is my thing. If I have extra time, I open up or listen to a book. Reading brings me comfort, escape, knowledge & joy. I love to see things through someone else’s perspective and have my beliefs challenged. Books are my go-to gifts for many occasions including when I am trying to find something for a griever in my life. My immediate thought is: “What card and book should I send?” Over time, numerous people have been on the receiving end of cards and my favorite grief books, hopefully finding support, solace, and validation in these gifts.
As I began my plans for my new business, I started with the idea of sending books and cards to people. Then it dawned on me that not everyone loves books like I do. One of the things I learned when I started Fairy Godmother Project was that what you provide to people can’t be focused only on what you would need or want. You have to get the input of the people you intend to serve or connect to. In this case, at Grief Girlfriend, it’s grievers (aka everyone). As I prepare for the launch of the shop, I continue to talk to people about what they need in hard times, read books not in my original grief library and lean into the results from the survey I created.
That research and all my years of creating space for grievers, reading books, and listening to people is evolving into Grief Girlfriend. I know I will miss the mark for some people and that is okay. More than anything, I want people to lean into us (for now it is me but maybe one day there will be an actual us) like you would a girlfriend you trust and learn to better support your grievers & yourself. I hope to open people’s hearts and minds to simple ways to more intentionally acknowledge grief.
In my experience, a great way to learn how to do that is through other people’s words and experiences….. so back to my favorite topic: books. There are many wonderful books on grief and when I started exploring what Grief GIrlfriend would be, I went through my shelves to see what grief books I own and I have so many. Because of my work with families facing pediatric cancer, I leaned heavily into child loss in my reading. Books by bereaved parents are deep ‘in the and’ for they can be raw & beautiful, funny & devastating, and heart-wrenching & eye-opening. Reading them can be uncomfortable because we don’t like feeling conflicting emotions. However, these books can help us learn how to create a space for all grievers in our lives if we are open to it.
So, on the first day of National Reading Month, I bring you 3 of my favorite books written from the perspective of a bereaved parent:
Finding the Words: Working through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose by Colin Campbell
This book is helpful & hard. While reading it, I found myself torn between taking notes on practical ways to help people and sitting in the pain with the author. It is very well done and has wonderful suggestions for grievers for how to make their way through a devastating loss and those suggestions can easily be translated into ways we can do better with our grievers.
A Hear that Works by Rob Delaney
If you know Rob Delaney’s acting, you know he’s funny. And parts of his book are, too. It is also a devastating & beautiful account of the love Rob has for his son Henry who died of a brain tumor.
Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Anna Whiston Donaldson
I am fortunate to know Anna IRL. Okay Okay, I might be name-dropping here but bear with me. I have known of Anna since before the tragic death of her son Jack through her blog An Inch of Gray and have since spent time with her in person and leaned on her for insight into child loss during my time at Fairy Godmother Project. She’s a beautiful writer and this book takes the reader through the beginning of her painful journey, all the what-ifs and questions that her family faced after Jack’s death, and is a story of loss & hope. This one is a great selection for those grappling with loss and Faith.
If these books aren’t what you are looking for, feel free to email me and ask for suggestions or wait for the other blog posts this month. I will be sharing more books as I gear up to open the shop since some will be available there.
One more thing…to all the people I have gifted books who aren’t readers, I apologize for not thinking beyond my own wants. I am a work in progress.
It is both exciting & scary to hit publish on this first blog post but here I go…. Thank you for being here.